Fantastic Sam’s RSM Review: Roseanne Dreams of Color

Fantastic Sam’s RSM Review: Roseanne Dreams of Color

Every so often, AnonyMissus needs to get her ass to the salon. The trailer trash roots start to make people think she’s gunna steal their wallets.

So what’s the process? Before I wised up, I did the $200+ hair treatments across Laguna Beach, Niguel, and Newport. Yes, Newport. I had to sell a lot of blood to get the cheese to do that one.

Then I was referred by a friend to “a lady who did awesome color at Fantastic Sam’s.” After what-the-f*ck-looking said friend, I gave in. I thought, what’s the worst that can happen. Post-hair-coloring, no matter where I went, I spent anywhere from 3-5 days looking like a cross between Ginny Weasley and the bright neon slime your dog pukes up after eating the whole tennis ball he found at that park.

Flash forward 10 years, and I still go to Roseanne for color. She is undeniably the best. I find this to be one of my life’s most comforting consistencies. I can go to someone who makes me look great, feel great, and doesn’t f*ck it up. Not even once.

Roseanne is the owner of the salon. Often times you will see her looking like a New England version of The Incredible’s Edna Mode. Why do I love her? Because she is to hair coloring what Sukiyabashi Jiro is to sushi; Roseanne Dreams of Color.

Much like Jiro, she is a no-nonsense broad who loves what she does and that’s that. And like Jiro’s subway-residing, Michelin-rated three-star restaurant, her brilliance resides in the most humble of places, a small and often overlooked Fantastic Sam’s.

And herein lies a piercing truth of Orange County reality: you don’t need to pay $6k to get a  GREAT finished product. Stop what you are doing. Look closer.

Recently Roseanne and I had a chat post-coloring. Not unlike Jiro,  she spoke plainly and openly about her work, reflecting on her 40+ years of doing “what she loves”. Her narrative was simple and eloquent: do what you love or you won’t be happy. Do what you love or you won’t be able to help people. Helping people makes you shine. It makes your work mean something.

It is this sincerity and passion that keeps Roseanne’s clientele loyal. Recently she confided in me that she may pursue teaching as a new adventure and move on from coloring. Should this be the case, I urge all readers to make their way to Roseanne, at least once. Get hair coloring. Get a life lesson. Renew your faith in people. Become inspired.

And most of all, look amazing.


Rumored to have spawned from a Manticore and a Chupacabra, AnonyMissus remained a myth in Central American countries from the 1600s to present day. She is mom to AnonyMunch. Wife to AnonyMister.
Professional marketer. Badass MC. She holds a B.S. in Finance and Marketing.